The Beginning of Forever

 After a whirl wind of last minute changes, not being able to find people, and winter weather, we finally had Joy's trial. Below is a more detailed account rather than the brief Facebook updates! At the end of the post there will be a "What's next!?"

  Leading up to the trial there were several different things happening all at once. I was told the Friday before that I would be a witness and called to testify. We were also informed that they would be enacting a rule that meant that we were going to be kicked out of the courtroom. The cherry on top of pretrial information was that they were not able to locate the Mom, who was being held in Federal custody. I worked in TDCJ and I understand that she hadn't been on the news, so she hadn't escaped, meaning someone just wasn't sharing location information! No Mom = no trial. Being the millennial that I am, I began searching open records. I found some new filings in her Federal case that gave an attorney's name. I passed the information along and viola! She was located! 

There were a few different ways the trial could follow.

1. The judge terminates Mom/Dad/ and any future "Dad" rights (this is because he never did a paternity test). After termination, the Judge will give custody to CPS, meaning us. Obviously, we felt this was the best case scenario! 
2. The judge terminates Dad and any future "Dad" rights and gives PMC(Permanent Managing Conservator) to the Aunt. Then we would start a transition plan from our home lasting 3-6 months with Joy starting visits with the Aunt that would start at supervised, to unsupervised, to over nights, then gone forever. A home study was previously passed on this family member but she had moved, therefore a new one would have to be done. I could hardly stomach this option. The thought of living through the transition plan was too much. I pushed these thoughts to the side. 
3.  The judge terminates Dad and any future "Dad" rights and gives PMC(Permanent Managing Conservator) to the family friend. Then we would start a transition plan from our home lasting 3-6 months with Joy starting visits with this family friend that would start at supervised, to unsupervised, to over nights, then gone forever. Home study was pending on this family friend. 

These different pathways really loomed over our heads some, but we were able to really focus on the fact that God has a plan, whatever it may be. Only the prayers from all of you kept us as calm as we were throughout this whole ordeal. The night before trial, her caseworker came over. She was visibly tired and worried. She had been studying dates and details in hopes that she could speak eloquently and give correct facts when asked. She kept telling me it was up to the Judge and to pray and to have all of you pray.

The next day, trial day was a bit crazy. We stayed home from work to be available to prep for trial. We both worked out in an effort to get some stress off and help Patrick be able to sit still for trial. I did have to go into work for about an hour to show some people around that donated grant money for a grant I was awarded. My classroom was also CUH-RAY-ZY at that time so it helped keep my mind off of things. I rushed home to pick up Patrick and we headed to the courthouse. Patrick is a nervous eater so we stopped at Buccess so he could load up on snacks, anticipating sitting in the hallway for hours. 

When we arrived at the courthouse the team greeted us and began to go over some items as well as introducing people we didn't know. The DA approached me and asked me if I absolutely wanted to testify. I told her if she needed me to testify to get what she needed, then yes, but if she didn't then no. She said she didn't feel like she needed me, and that opened Patrick and I up to remain in the court room. (The snacks we bought have still not been eaten!) Hallelujah! As we walked into the court room our caseworker passed by and said, "Isn't this yours? You dropped it." She is sneaky and fast so I didn't have a chance to respond as she placed something into my hand and walked off. It was a prayer pillow with a cross in it. It had a cute little saying on it. I held it the entire time. 

The trial started, and time stood still. They called the Mom on the phone. The Aunt entered the courtroom and sat to our right. As the questioning began, the Aunt became theatrical. She commented on absolutely everything and had hand motions and body movements to go with it. I thought maybe we were on an episode of "Punk'd" because surely an adult would not act this way in court. I watched out of my peripheral vision, but anyone who has met Patrick, knows he was full on looking over. I had to make him stop because the Judge was watching us and her. We had to look the best we could, which means, eyes forward, blank expression. I waiting for the Judge to order her removal, but it never happened. We found out later they couldn't really hear her but they all noticed her. 

It was interesting to hear some of the details of Joy's case that we didn't know. She came to us after surviving a shooting at a drug house. We heard the Mom had been showing up to visits high and or drunk and hadn't been passing her drug and alcohol tests. To hear how she interacted and didn't interact with Joy hurt my heart. The concerns with the two optional placements that the Mom had brought up were also shared. Hearing these concerns and imagining them placing our little girl in these environments made my heart tighten.

To me, this was the most heartbreaking part... the Mom knew she couldn't take care of Joy, but she never stopped trying. She was attending her classes and asking for more. She was going to her psych visits. She showed up to visits. She told everyone that she didn't think she could properly care for her, but she wanted to try and be the best version she could for her daughter in whatever way Joy would know her. The main thing was, she wanted to be able to watch her baby grow up. Unfortunately, she didn't have a chance to be what we view as a "good parent". Joy's Mom was raised in a criminal family where gang life was all she knew. Mix that with addiction and mental illness and there doesn't seem to be a way out. Joy's attorney had actually been the prosecutor a few times for Joy's grandfather as her Mom was growing up. The attorney would not allow the Mom to speak in the trial because it would show her guilt in her current Federal case. It broke my heart to hear her plea with her attorney and the Judge for a chance to advocate for herself and the love she has for Joy. I can't imagine being in her shoes. 

At the conclusion of the trial, the judge rendered her decision. Given all of the evidence and concerns from the department, she terminated the rights of all parents. I remember verbally saying, "Thank you Jesus." Time then began to move. I felt myself breathing again. My breathe quickened "Who gets Joy? Where is she going?" Then she said, "The state will remain the conservator of the child." This meant, she was ours. She will get to be Joy Claire, forever. We both sat there shocked but still having questions. The Aunt dramatically exited the courtroom. I then decided we needed to wait an hour before we left to ensure we weren't going to be followed. 

We met with her team after the Judge went to her chambers and asked our questions. 

What's Next?!

• After the order is entered (Feb 20) two timelines start:
• Appeal Timeline-20 days
• The team feels it is highly unlikely for Mom to file an appeal due to her Federal case and the fact that she was present for this proceeding. 
• Family Notification- 90 days
• There will be a notice sent to certain family members basically saying, rights have been terminated are you interested. Because Joy has been in the system her entire life and her half siblings were in the system all the family members have already been identified and vetted, no one qualifies. This timeline is of no concern to us, we just have to live it out. 
• Her team has also assured us, this timeline is of no worry!
• The case is transferred to the adoption department.
• This takes roughly 3 months before we get an adoption worker. They work on a redacted file and have to make contact with us 3 times for adoption. 

We had already planned to wait until after she was two, to adopt, because it gives her the max benefits she can get. So while we still have about 6 months to go, we are on the adoption train and it is moving! There are truly no words knowing that God chose us to be Joy's parents. We are so thankful for Joy's team who advocated for her to get a chance at life that no one in her family has ever had. We are so thankful and grateful for all of the people who prayed and reached out during this time. We and our families have been overwhelmed with how far our little girl's story has traveled and how many people have been touched by our Joy. 

Our prayer is that through our journey, you are able to see God's love. This is not the end of our journey by far. We still have our little Lion Leo and whoever else God sends our way. As for Joys foster care journey, this is the beginning of the end and the rest of her life as an Armstrong is on the horizon! 

1 Thesalonians 5:16-18

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."